I never ‘got it’ before, not until this stage of life.  As they say, on God’s time and in His way.  He very slowly led me back to Him.  I guess He had to do it slowly because I wasn’t ready before now.
I grew up in a family of 8 kids.  My mom was and continues to be a devout Catholic.  She is Irish and was raised in New England; Massachusetts to be exact.  She would have become a nun if her mom would have allowed her.  My dad, on the other hand, is a convert, which often times makes him even more devout than my mom.  I always thought I was a good Catholic girl and did all the ‘right’ things.  But, I discovered in college that I was actually pretty weak and was not as strong in my faith as I (and everyone else) thought.  It was a surprise to me and to my parents to say the least.  I essentially quit my faith, except for the occasional mass when I was at home with my parents and had to keep up appearances.  But, for all intents and purposes, I was not a Catholic anymore.  I think the reason I could give it all up so easily was that I always felt God was a judge sitting on a throne above somewhere, watching me and waiting for me to mess up.  I didn’t feel the love part and the forgiveness part at all, only the judgmental part.  So, it was easy for me to turn away.  And turn away I did, for about 15 years.   Looking back, it is sad that it took so long, but I learned so much that I probably never would have if it hadn’t.

So, we are at our favorite little Chinese restaurant and the waiter takes our order. He tells me that the meal I have chosen comes with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. I do not care much for vanilla ice cream, besides, I typically do not have dessert with my meal because I really have to watch it (I gain weight just thinking about dessert and if I were to eat it too, whew, I would be beyond big!) but I know my daughter loves vanilla ice cream. She always without fail asks for it for dessert every time we come to this restaurant. So, I think to myself, great, Samantha can have mine when it comes. How perfect.

We eat our meal and have a nice time. The waiter comes around asking if anyone wants dessert, other than me of course because my meal comes with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Samantha says no in her two year old, irritated way. I ask her about three more times if she’s sure she doesn’t want ice cream because she loves it so much and she says “No, no, no Mommy!” OK. I am surprised but stop asking. The waiter brings my dish of ice cream. Again, I ask, as sweetly as I can, “Honey, would you like my ice cream?” She says no, no, no again. I ask her if she just wants a little bite then. No, no, no!!! OK, then. So, I take a scoop of it in my spoon and put it in my mouth and Samantha bursts into tears and yells (and I mean yells), “Stop eating my ice cream!” Every one in the dining room turns to look at me with my spoon in my mouth and Samantha crying next to me!

Of course I try to calmly, but loudly, reply to Samantha, “But, honey this is MY ice cream and I offered it to you but you said no.” The stares and glares continue, I turn bright red, and of course slide the dish over to Samantha, who then very happily begins to eat the ice cream and smile so preciously at me! I could have wrung that sweet, beautiful little neck at that moment!

The next morning, I made the bed and around noon, our guests arrived.  When bedtime came at 11:00 PM, we were all very tired but looking forward to a wonderful day the next day.  My brother and his wife headed off to bed.  They emerged from the bedroom shortly thereafter.  I was surprised to see both of them and I asked “What’s wrong?”.  My brother replied “Our bed is soaking wet!  When we first got in, it was fine, but after just a few minutes, both of us were feeling wet.  Our skin was wet and so were our pajamas.  I mentioned this to her (he pointed to his wife) and she said, ‘Well, maybe it’s a water bed’.  I explained to her that if you sleep in a water bed, you are not sleeping in water and you don’t get wet!”.  Laughter erupted from all of us and we went into the bedroom, removed the foam mattress and took it back out on the patio.  We wiped off the box spring mattress laid some blankets down and my guests went to bed happy! 

In my zeal to have the cleanest, best smelling mattress for them, I just didn’t stop to think that when you press down on foam any water within will rise to the top!  How awkward!

One day, I picked my daughter and her friend up from dance practice and they asked if we could go to Taco Bell and get food from the drive thru.  I said sure and off we went.  I drove up to the window and didn’t realize that there was only one window at Taco Bell.  Most drive thrus have 2 windows, one for paying and then one for dispensing the food.  I have driven thru many, many fast food drive thrus being a working mom with two very active young girls. 

So, that day, I ordered the food through the intercom at the drive thru, then proceeded to the window to pay.  There was a young man, a teenager, working the window at the time.  I paid my money, he gave me the change, I said thank you and I drove forward to go to the next window.  But there wasn’t a 2nd window!  I continued to drive forward, not realizing that I should be stopping at a window for the food but instead was driving out into the parking area toward the street to head home!  My daughter and her friend sat in the back seat quiet, watching me.  They sat there for about 30 seconds until my daughter finally said, “Mom, we didn’t get our food.”  I looked back at the restaurant drive thru and the young man working was hanging out the window watching me drive off.  I burst out laughing and did a huge U turn and headed back to the drive thru window.  Thankfully, no one else had driven up yet.  The young man watched me, without even cracking a smile and as I drove up to the window dying from laughter, he calmly said “Want your food now?”

Mom and dad looked at their watches as the prince still had not arrived.  It was now 6:20 and they patiently sat and waited, and waited, and waited.  6:30, still no prince!  They waited and waited.  6:45, no prince yet - tummies were starting to growl!  The decision was made to call prince charming.  Yes, he was on his way!  (He had just gotten out of the shower at 6:20!)  At 7:00 PM, prince charming arrived and met a group of ravished people, especially the mother of the princess.  She had nothing to eat all day!  

“Let’s get our plates”, mom said, and up she went to the buffet table, followed by her family and the prince.  Back at the table, mom devoured her food very quickly and excused herself to go back for a second serving.  This time, no one followed.  With her second plate in hand, she returned to the table and finished off the second plate.  She excused herself and headed back to the buffet.  Once again, with more food on her plate, she rejoined the family and the prince at the table.  The princess and her sister were getting a bit uneasy.  But, good old mom was really, really hungry that night and never noticed that the eyes of the princess, her sister and even prince charming were wide with amazement!  They had never seen their mother eat so much!  As the mother started to get up from the table once again and head tot he buffet for her fourth plate, the sister said aloud “You’re not going back again, are you?”.  The dad joined in, “Don’t tell me you want more!”.  The prince and the princess only looked at each other and said nothing!  The mother explained she was just looking for a few more little shrimp and off she went!  Finally, dinner was over, the prince said goodnight and thanked them all for a wonderful meal, smiling twice at the mom.  He departed and the princess said, “Well that was awkward!”

Was it?

The prince shows up at the appointed time, greets the mom & dad appropriately and sits down on the sofa.  The princess and the prince charming decide what they want to watch on TV.  They turn on their special program and the mom and dad disappear into another part of the house.  How perfect!  The young couple are enjoying their program and being together.  Then, something happens.  Right in the middle of their show, a singer appears.  The singer starts out singing a song that was popular perhaps 18 years ago, during the time the mom and dad were dating.  The mom and dad hear the music, that good old rock and roll, and they get excited, so much so that they emerge vigorously from their quiet place, singing loudly and enthusiastically performing the motions they had performed so many years ago.  They swayed from side to side and held one arm in the air as if holding a lighter while at a concert and they grinned from ear to ear and sang their hearts out.  They even danced a little and played some air guitar.  They took their places at the side of the TV in plain sight of the royal couple and, when it was over, back they went to their own space, quiet once again.   The prince and princess just looked at each other and went back to watching their show.

The TV show ended, the prince said goodnight to all and left.  The princess looked at her mom and dad and remarked, “Well that was awkward!”  They all said goodnight and went to bed! 

Was that more awkward for the prince?  Or the princess?  Or no one?!  You decide!

Silly?  You bet!  But also a moment she and I still laugh about.  

She has met his parents and they are quiet and reserved.  Not much conversation takes place but everything seems good.  Now he must meet her parents.  He comes over to her house and the ice is broken.  No doubt about it, her parents are more outgoing, friendly, more modern, even religious and much more exciting!  After about their 3rd meeting, the girls grandparents come to visit from another state.  The girl is very anxious for her prince charming to come to her home and meet her grandparents so she invites the boy over.  One early evening, in walks the girl with her prince charming.  Introductions are made, a little small talk, lots of smiles and then the girl and boy depart into the dining room.  They are sitting there playing songs (Country Western) on a laptop computer.

The girl’s dad walks in the room and the girl says to her prince charming, “My dad loves the song, ‘I Loved her First’.”.  The dad elaborates a bit and says “Wait, I have the song!” and off he goes to get it.  The girl, using her computer, brings up the song and calls her dad back into the dining room.  Her dad then calls to the grandparents who are in the kitchen, “Come on out here and listen to this song - I just really love this song!”  Into the dining room go the grandparents and also the girl’s mother.  The father is standing beside the dining room table singing in his loudest finest voice “I loved her first…”, sending a message loud and clear to her prince charming! 

After the song ends, the dad leaves the room and comes right back with another song- “Gotta Clean My Gun”.  Whew!  This song is about a father and how he keeps his gun clean and if anything ever happened to his daughter, how he would use it.  Whew!  Now the father starts singing in the dining room once again and REALLY gets into this song, rolling his eyes over to his daughter and to her prince, especially the prince!  He lays it on thick!  He sings again - “I’ve got a gun and I know how to use it.  I really need to clean it and keep it nice and handy.”  Of course, all this done with a happy-go-lucky smiling face.  Grandparents, mom, dad, girl and prince charming are all grinning too.  The song finishes after being played twice and then the girl announces they have to get going and starts to leave.  Prince charming says his goodbyes politely and the father says, “Don’t stay out too late  although it really doesn’t matter much, because I’ll just be sitting right here cleaning my gun and it’ll be REAL clean!” 

In about an hour, the girl comes home.  She walks in and says, “Well that was awkward!”  I understand it to mean she was embarrassed by her father - the songs, the gun - all just too much for her!  Then again, maybe she means it was awkward for her Prince Charming.  Perhaps it could have been awkward for the grandparents and maybe for the mother?  An awkward situation for all?  Indeed!! 

So, we all say goodnight and go to bed.