Posts Tagged ‘love’

My Transformation & Ongoing Search for Spiritual Enlightenment

Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008

I was born and raised Catholic.  I ‘left’ the faith for a while but have returned, much stronger and more alive in it than I ever was before.  It’s been a long journey for me, sometimes hard, to finally reach this point where I feel like I am alive in faith.  It is a saving grace for me to finally feel God’s presence in my life and to trust and lean on Him completely. 

I never ‘got it’ before, not until this stage of life.  As they say, on God’s time and in His way.  He very slowly led me back to Him.  I guess He had to do it slowly because I wasn’t ready before now.
I grew up in a family of 8 kids.  My mom was and continues to be a devout Catholic.  She is Irish and was raised in New England; Massachusetts to be exact.  She would have become a nun if her mom would have allowed her.  My dad, on the other hand, is a convert, which often times makes him even more devout than my mom.  I always thought I was a good Catholic girl and did all the ‘right’ things.  But, I discovered in college that I was actually pretty weak and was not as strong in my faith as I (and everyone else) thought.  It was a surprise to me and to my parents to say the least.  I essentially quit my faith, except for the occasional mass when I was at home with my parents and had to keep up appearances.  But, for all intents and purposes, I was not a Catholic anymore.  I think the reason I could give it all up so easily was that I always felt God was a judge sitting on a throne above somewhere, watching me and waiting for me to mess up.  I didn’t feel the love part and the forgiveness part at all, only the judgmental part.  So, it was easy for me to turn away.  And turn away I did, for about 15 years.   Looking back, it is sad that it took so long, but I learned so much that I probably never would have if it hadn’t.

Parents rock out

Wednesday, April 9th, 2008

And a beautiful couple they are - young, still in high school, vibrant, energetic and anxious to spend time together whenever, wherever they can.  How about her parents house?  It’s a nice place.  They could sit together on the sofa and watch TV.  Her parents understand young love - they won’t be in the way, even though both the “prince charming” and his princess know full well that nothing improper is tolerated; in other words, no funny business allowed!  At least they’ll be together laughing, sharing, talking.  Wonderful idea! 

The prince shows up at the appointed time, greets the mom & dad appropriately and sits down on the sofa.  The princess and the prince charming decide what they want to watch on TV.  They turn on their special program and the mom and dad disappear into another part of the house.  How perfect!  The young couple are enjoying their program and being together.  Then, something happens.  Right in the middle of their show, a singer appears.  The singer starts out singing a song that was popular perhaps 18 years ago, during the time the mom and dad were dating.  The mom and dad hear the music, that good old rock and roll, and they get excited, so much so that they emerge vigorously from their quiet place, singing loudly and enthusiastically performing the motions they had performed so many years ago.  They swayed from side to side and held one arm in the air as if holding a lighter while at a concert and they grinned from ear to ear and sang their hearts out.  They even danced a little and played some air guitar.  They took their places at the side of the TV in plain sight of the royal couple and, when it was over, back they went to their own space, quiet once again.   The prince and princess just looked at each other and went back to watching their show.

The TV show ended, the prince said goodnight to all and left.  The princess looked at her mom and dad and remarked, “Well that was awkward!”  They all said goodnight and went to bed! 

Was that more awkward for the prince?  Or the princess?  Or no one?!  You decide!