A Yankee has Landed in Texas

I was born and raised Catholic.  I ‘left’ the faith for a while but have returned, much stronger and more alive in it than I ever was before.  It’s been a long journey for me, sometimes hard, to finally reach this point where I feel like I am alive in faith.  It is a saving grace for me to finally feel God’s presence in my life and to trust and lean on Him completely. 

I never ‘got it’ before, not until this stage of life.  As they say, on God’s time and in His way.  He very slowly led me back to Him.  I guess He had to do it slowly because I wasn’t ready before now.
I grew up in a family of 8 kids.  My mom was and continues to be a devout Catholic.  She is Irish and was raised in New England; Massachusetts to be exact.  She would have become a nun if her mom would have allowed her.  My dad, on the other hand, is a convert, which often times makes him even more devout than my mom.  I always thought I was a good Catholic girl and did all the ‘right’ things.  But, I discovered in college that I was actually pretty weak and was not as strong in my faith as I (and everyone else) thought.  It was a surprise to me and to my parents to say the least.  I essentially quit my faith, except for the occasional mass when I was at home with my parents and had to keep up appearances.  But, for all intents and purposes, I was not a Catholic anymore.  I think the reason I could give it all up so easily was that I always felt God was a judge sitting on a throne above somewhere, watching me and waiting for me to mess up.  I didn’t feel the love part and the forgiveness part at all, only the judgmental part.  So, it was easy for me to turn away.  And turn away I did, for about 15 years.   Looking back, it is sad that it took so long, but I learned so much that I probably never would have if it hadn’t.

Being a mom is the most rewarding thing I have ever been in my life. I am so thankful for the gift of my children. They are my pride and joy and my most cherished treasures. However, there have been times when I wasn’t so happy or pleased with them. One such time was when I was pregnant with my second daughter and went out to dinner at a Chinese restaurant with my then 26 month old daughter and my husband. That’s right, we were in the beginning of our twos which weren’t always terrible, only sometimes! I was 8 months pregnant and in those last few long weeks of pregnancy. My husband calls this period hell month because everything is swollen and huge and uncomfortable and we just want it to end already! Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being pregnant but those last weeks drag on forever it seems.

So, we are at our favorite little Chinese restaurant and the waiter takes our order. He tells me that the meal I have chosen comes with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. I do not care much for vanilla ice cream, besides, I typically do not have dessert with my meal because I really have to watch it (I gain weight just thinking about dessert and if I were to eat it too, whew, I would be beyond big!) but I know my daughter loves vanilla ice cream. She always without fail asks for it for dessert every time we come to this restaurant. So, I think to myself, great, Samantha can have mine when it comes. How perfect.

We eat our meal and have a nice time. The waiter comes around asking if anyone wants dessert, other than me of course because my meal comes with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Samantha says no in her two year old, irritated way. I ask her about three more times if she’s sure she doesn’t want ice cream because she loves it so much and she says “No, no, no Mommy!” OK. I am surprised but stop asking. The waiter brings my dish of ice cream. Again, I ask, as sweetly as I can, “Honey, would you like my ice cream?” She says no, no, no again. I ask her if she just wants a little bite then. No, no, no!!! OK, then. So, I take a scoop of it in my spoon and put it in my mouth and Samantha bursts into tears and yells (and I mean yells), “Stop eating my ice cream!” Every one in the dining room turns to look at me with my spoon in my mouth and Samantha crying next to me!

Of course I try to calmly, but loudly, reply to Samantha, “But, honey this is MY ice cream and I offered it to you but you said no.” The stares and glares continue, I turn bright red, and of course slide the dish over to Samantha, who then very happily begins to eat the ice cream and smile so preciously at me! I could have wrung that sweet, beautiful little neck at that moment!

My kids think I am crazy sometimes!  I put myself on automatic pilot, especially when I am driving, and some funny things happen when I do that!  When I told my then 13 year old daughter one day, that I missed turning on her friend’s street because I was on automatic pilot and was thinking we were driving to the grocery store instead, she actually thought it was a button in the car that I pushed to turn on ‘automatic pilot’!  I guess I used that phrase an awful lot at the time to explain the many mindless mistakes I made.

One day, I picked my daughter and her friend up from dance practice and they asked if we could go to Taco Bell and get food from the drive thru.  I said sure and off we went.  I drove up to the window and didn’t realize that there was only one window at Taco Bell.  Most drive thrus have 2 windows, one for paying and then one for dispensing the food.  I have driven thru many, many fast food drive thrus being a working mom with two very active young girls. 

So, that day, I ordered the food through the intercom at the drive thru, then proceeded to the window to pay.  There was a young man, a teenager, working the window at the time.  I paid my money, he gave me the change, I said thank you and I drove forward to go to the next window.  But there wasn’t a 2nd window!  I continued to drive forward, not realizing that I should be stopping at a window for the food but instead was driving out into the parking area toward the street to head home!  My daughter and her friend sat in the back seat quiet, watching me.  They sat there for about 30 seconds until my daughter finally said, “Mom, we didn’t get our food.”  I looked back at the restaurant drive thru and the young man working was hanging out the window watching me drive off.  I burst out laughing and did a huge U turn and headed back to the drive thru window.  Thankfully, no one else had driven up yet.  The young man watched me, without even cracking a smile and as I drove up to the window dying from laughter, he calmly said “Want your food now?”

And a beautiful couple they are - young, still in high school, vibrant, energetic and anxious to spend time together whenever, wherever they can.  How about her parents house?  It’s a nice place.  They could sit together on the sofa and watch TV.  Her parents understand young love - they won’t be in the way, even though both the “prince charming” and his princess know full well that nothing improper is tolerated; in other words, no funny business allowed!  At least they’ll be together laughing, sharing, talking.  Wonderful idea! 

The prince shows up at the appointed time, greets the mom & dad appropriately and sits down on the sofa.  The princess and the prince charming decide what they want to watch on TV.  They turn on their special program and the mom and dad disappear into another part of the house.  How perfect!  The young couple are enjoying their program and being together.  Then, something happens.  Right in the middle of their show, a singer appears.  The singer starts out singing a song that was popular perhaps 18 years ago, during the time the mom and dad were dating.  The mom and dad hear the music, that good old rock and roll, and they get excited, so much so that they emerge vigorously from their quiet place, singing loudly and enthusiastically performing the motions they had performed so many years ago.  They swayed from side to side and held one arm in the air as if holding a lighter while at a concert and they grinned from ear to ear and sang their hearts out.  They even danced a little and played some air guitar.  They took their places at the side of the TV in plain sight of the royal couple and, when it was over, back they went to their own space, quiet once again.   The prince and princess just looked at each other and went back to watching their show.

The TV show ended, the prince said goodnight to all and left.  The princess looked at her mom and dad and remarked, “Well that was awkward!”  They all said goodnight and went to bed! 

Was that more awkward for the prince?  Or the princess?  Or no one?!  You decide!

Do you ever have fun with your kids?  Teenagers especially?  Amid the rolling eyes and grumpy good mornings, do you keep smiling and try to be silly?  I try hard not to let the moments when foul moods strike set the tone.  Someone told me once that as the mom, I am the one who sets the tone of my household.  That was an eye opener for me.  I had been thinking, “Man, all we do is fight in our house.  I can’t stand it.  Why is everything yelling and so negative.”  After my friend told me that I set the tone, I realized that I had the power to change it.  I love laughing with my kids and my husband.  I try to take deep breaths when things start going south in our household and do or say something stupid or silly.  Often, I purposely say something so dumb that I know my kids will crack up.  At first, I think they thought I really was that dumb.  But, they’ve come to realize that I’m not really a dumbo, I’m just playing one.  We get to giggling over such silly stuff.  It’s such fun.Here’s a for instance.  I was driving my 14 year old to her boyfriends house.  She was trying to call him to tell him she was almost there.  She couldn’t get through, his phone was busy.  She started to worry, saying she had told him she would call him before she got there but she thought his mom was on the phone.  She kept trying to dial him.  So, I put my hand to my mouth and called out “Mark.  Mark!”  Then I said, “Now you can tell him you called him.”  She burst out laughing.  She jumped in and started calling him the same way, and even rolled the window down and called out the window.  She laughed about that for 2 days. 

Silly?  You bet!  But also a moment she and I still laugh about.  

A young girl, 16 years old and still in high school, looking at her senior year approaching, has met a very attractive guy.  Tall, dark curly hair, beautiful teeth, kind hearted.  She feels he is her true prince charming.  He shows he is interested in her and cares about her.  What a nice relationship they have made.  Proms are coming up and because they attend different schools, she will be going to his prom and he, to hers.  OK! 

She has met his parents and they are quiet and reserved.  Not much conversation takes place but everything seems good.  Now he must meet her parents.  He comes over to her house and the ice is broken.  No doubt about it, her parents are more outgoing, friendly, more modern, even religious and much more exciting!  After about their 3rd meeting, the girls grandparents come to visit from another state.  The girl is very anxious for her prince charming to come to her home and meet her grandparents so she invites the boy over.  One early evening, in walks the girl with her prince charming.  Introductions are made, a little small talk, lots of smiles and then the girl and boy depart into the dining room.  They are sitting there playing songs (Country Western) on a laptop computer.

The girl’s dad walks in the room and the girl says to her prince charming, “My dad loves the song, ‘I Loved her First’.”.  The dad elaborates a bit and says “Wait, I have the song!” and off he goes to get it.  The girl, using her computer, brings up the song and calls her dad back into the dining room.  Her dad then calls to the grandparents who are in the kitchen, “Come on out here and listen to this song - I just really love this song!”  Into the dining room go the grandparents and also the girl’s mother.  The father is standing beside the dining room table singing in his loudest finest voice “I loved her first…”, sending a message loud and clear to her prince charming! 

After the song ends, the dad leaves the room and comes right back with another song- “Gotta Clean My Gun”.  Whew!  This song is about a father and how he keeps his gun clean and if anything ever happened to his daughter, how he would use it.  Whew!  Now the father starts singing in the dining room once again and REALLY gets into this song, rolling his eyes over to his daughter and to her prince, especially the prince!  He lays it on thick!  He sings again - “I’ve got a gun and I know how to use it.  I really need to clean it and keep it nice and handy.”  Of course, all this done with a happy-go-lucky smiling face.  Grandparents, mom, dad, girl and prince charming are all grinning too.  The song finishes after being played twice and then the girl announces they have to get going and starts to leave.  Prince charming says his goodbyes politely and the father says, “Don’t stay out too late  although it really doesn’t matter much, because I’ll just be sitting right here cleaning my gun and it’ll be REAL clean!” 

In about an hour, the girl comes home.  She walks in and says, “Well that was awkward!”  I understand it to mean she was embarrassed by her father - the songs, the gun - all just too much for her!  Then again, maybe she means it was awkward for her Prince Charming.  Perhaps it could have been awkward for the grandparents and maybe for the mother?  An awkward situation for all?  Indeed!! 

So, we all say goodnight and go to bed.